Can Masturbating Cure a Cold?

You might need that tissue for something else.

An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away. That’s my mantra. And not just because it’s fun and flirty — it’s actually backed by science.

Yup, that’s right. Not only do orgasms feel good, but they’re also good for you! They yield a ton of health benefits, and if you’re not aware of them, let me enlighten you.

Studies show that climaxing can cure headaches and migraines, clear your skin, and lower the risk of having a heart attack. And that’s not all, folks! Orgasms help you sleep better, they boost your mood, and another study showed that they can reduce stress levels and blood pressure for up to two weeks.

So you see, an orgasm is like chicken soup for the mind, body, and soul. And when you’re sick and snuffly in your cozy, warm bed, it might even save you a trip to your local pharmacy. I’ll explain.

Research suggests that when penises ejaculate, they lose small amounts of nutrients that are essential for immune function, like zinc and copper. However, penile stimulation and male orgasm are also linked to an increase in some white blood cells, which activates certain components of the immune system. In layman’s terms, masturbating can actually help your body fight off infections.

Alright, but what if I have a vagina? Masturbation improves your immune system by triggering lower cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone, in your body. Stress and lack of quality sleep can contribute to getting sick. Considering masturbation helps with both, it’s definitely worth adding to your healthcare regimen.

So, if you’re trying to stay healthy this cold season, you have the green light to wank to your heart’s content. Just don’t fake sick from work so you have an excuse to masturbate all day.

How did I not think of this sooner? Which phase is you in rn?

Say less. 😏

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