5 Tips for Watching Porn With Your Partner to Boost Intimacy

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Porn doesn’t have to be a red flag in your relationship. In fact, it can actually be an asset to spicing up your sex life.

In case you didn’t catch Part 1: Does Porn Have a Place in a Healthy Relationship?, go check that out before reading this! It addresses those hard-hitting questions about how porn impacts your relationship and self-image and how can you reconcile your feelings of intimidation and insecurity when it comes to your partner’s enjoyment of porn. As mentioned in Part 1, many people feel intimidated by the idea of their partner watching porn. It can often stir up feelings of inadequacy or mistrust.

While porn is a source of concern in many relationships, I’m here to tell you that it is indeed possible to maintain an incredible sex life and healthy relationship regardless of whether one or both partners watch porn. You can actually bring porn into the bedroom and use it as a tool in your relationship for fantasy play, entertainment, pleasure (of course), and growing closer and more vulnerable with your partner. Keep reading to discover how!

Taty’s Tips for enhancing intimacy with porn:

  1. Ease into it. If you’re already open to the idea of incorporating porn into your sexy time, but you’re not sure where to begin, start out with a simple conversation. Ask your partner what they like and dislike seeing when they watch porn. If you watch porn, share your porn searches and preferences. You both can even send each other links of your go-to videos to masturbate to (with their consent and awareness, of course – perhaps a little NSFW disclaimer!). 
  2. Watch porn together as a form of foreplay. In the same way that you would watch a movie on Netflix to get in the mood, watch porn instead. In a study led by Irv Binik at McGill University Health Centre in 2006, researchers monitored genital temperature changes to measure sexual arousal and found that, when shown porn clips, men and women alike began displaying arousal within 30 seconds; men reached maximum arousal in about 11 minutes, women in about 12. 
  3. Critique the porn together. Watching porn together can be as goofy and fun as it is arousing. Is one of the actors or actresses being over-the-top with their moaning? Is the dialogue a little too cheesy? Is there too much plot before the actual love-making? You and your partner can be the judge of that and have a good laugh, and/or romp, in the process. 
  4. Experiment. Porn doesn’t necessarily have to remain a fantasy that you turn on and off like a light switch. If you find yourself in awe of certain scenes because you crave those experiences in your own sex life, don’t be afraid to re-create those fantasies with your partner. Just be cognizant of the fact that many aspects of porn aren’t exactly reality. There’s a lot of work that goes into making the porn performers and scenes look desirable, so what you see on screen isn’t entirely indicative of what you would experience in real life. Also, porn is meant to be entertainment, not education. That being said, it’s still worth a try to tap into those fantasies and explore your desires. Set safety words and boundaries accordingly.
  5. Masturbate as you watch porn together. When it comes to sexual activities, mutual masturbation doesn’t get enough credit. Not only can it break away from routine sex, but enjoying porn together while masturbating can be a spicy added bonus.

Now go forth and get your pleasure on!

Tatyannah King

Tatyannah King

Tatyannah graduated from UNC-Greensboro in 2018. She is now a grad student at Widener University, studying social work and human sexuality She is also a sex blogger, travel enthusiast and educational presenter with the Center for Positive Sexuality. To stay up to date with her future workshops and presentations about sexuality, follow her on Instagram @taty_k_king.

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